i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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