so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
