just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
