i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
