I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
