I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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