I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
