He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
