I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
