I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
