alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
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Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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