what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
