I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
