so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
