They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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