It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
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