he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
