I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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