Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's the barista slut.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
