just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
