That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
