so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
