She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
