You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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