No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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