is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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