We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
