Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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