I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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