The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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