He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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