Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
