Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
