you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
