she was so not down for the gang bang
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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