i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
