is your mom at the bar?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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