I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
