I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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