Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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