one might say we're banned from that church
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize