party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My vagina is very pro this idea
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
