And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I need water and some morals
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
