nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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