; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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