In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize