Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
