She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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