There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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