I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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