you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
