You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I would fuck him just for his dog
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
