So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
