1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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