he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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