it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize