I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You took a bar mat shot.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
