Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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