lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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