I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
