Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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