I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize