So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
